Look Into These Details To Avoid Spoiling Your Children

In a joint custody situation, it's often tempting to want your children to like you more than they like your ex-spouse. You might not be proud to admit this fact, but there may be some validity to it. In such a scenario, you may look for ways to spoil your children, especially if you know that your ex-spouse perhaps doesn't believe in doing so or doesn't have the financial means to do so. Spoiling your children might seem beneficial in the short term, but it can lead to squabbles with your ex and potentially even resentment from your children because they may feel like puppets. To avoid spoiling them, here are some details that you should discuss with your ex.

Household Rules

Your ex and you may be divorced, but that doesn't mean that you aren't partners in raising your children. In order to avoid spoiling them, go over some basic household rules with your ex to find common ground. For example, it's appropriate for your children to do roughly the same amount of chores regardless of where they live. You usually want to have a consistent approach to other rules, too, including their bedtimes, how much time they watch TV, and how frequently they can have friends staying over.

Gifts And Purchases

It's also ideal if you and your ex can find common ground on how you both treat your children. Doing so can be critical to avoiding them being spoiled. For example, you might think that a new toy every week is appropriate, and your ex may feel as though your children should only get toys on their birthdays and other special occasions. If you have drastically different philosophies, you'll need to confer so that you can find an approach that resonates with you both.


Diet is another area in which divorced parents can sometimes spoil their children. For example, if you know that your ex will emphasize healthy eating most of the time, you might attempt to win favor by bringing home pizza once a week and taking your children out for ice cream regularly. Discuss with your ex what you feel is reasonable for the children's breakfasts, lunches, and dinners, as well as what snacks they have after school and what they take to school to eat. There can be flexibility from time to time, but it's generally advantageous to have a plan and ensure that you both stick to it.

For more information, contact a law office like Winstein, Kavensky & Cunningham, LLC.